Not Me But You  

Help me to see what you've seen,
Help me to feel what you've felt,
Help me to know what you've known,
Help me to understand what you've understood.

And when I do to make those good.
Why than do you still say,
"I don't understand you."?

Ohh...
Your favorite lines,
They're missing out.
What else good is left?
When Hatreds' a plenty,
And Love?
so rare.

Now here's the thing,
And Listen good,
Nothing has changed,
But the treasure is gone.

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A Golden Bill  

Generations after generations, technology grows, people change, surroundings change, but somethings will never change. In morality wise, changes seems to be far off for the worst of it. What does it takes to twitch a person's thinking? Amidst such immorality in our world today, people are still creating incoherent concepts on how we should live our lives. Not to mention, paradoxical and superstitious beliefs. Pragmatism is only vital for us, while believing in miracles are the blessed portion of life.


What can a bill serial number do for you? Would it help you to strike lucky? And should it be so, wouldn't you be saying you're lucky? How or what can you do to have such 'luck'? Nothing else seems more realistic than the math. With a golden bill, it is one in a million. Just because something evidential, triggered one's assumption to be correct, it still doesn't prove it is the truth, all the more ridiculous when you know it is a one-off thing. Purge such thoughts and come to reality, only by being realistic alongside faith, can miracles come.


I'm glad I serve a God who defines practicality, but works miraculously. Because even with such black and white evidence, many still choose not to believe. How can anything be more disturbing than that? - A reason to believe our world is falling apart. But I'm not with the world, just in it.








Everything else still boils down to choices, and with the freedom of it.~

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A Four Days Journal  

What to say? Why does everything I see, becomes a reflection of my past. And needless to say, still lurking about in my present.


These past 4 days has been a wild loop of coincidental rides for me. Not as a party of any sort. But partaking as an audience and an arbiter.

The word LOVE really sounds deceiving doesn't it? Because just when you thought you got a hold of it. It turns into sand and slide off your hands. In our society today, we refer to 3 types of Love. Puppy love, short-term love and true love. But to me, there are only 2 types. Lust and Love. Where TRUE, and GENUINE Love is LOVE. Therefore, any other form of so called "Love" is all just lust to me.

Why the hard decision? Because no one said it was gonna be easy. Seeing my bro thru the past 4 days has taught me alot of things. And I m definitely glad that he took the step of faith to believe in Christ, and that Christ will give him the peace he needs. He prayed and God see him thru it only in one night, that same night.



It's really something isn't it? To pray and ask God to show him, God is really real by giving him the strength. After that night, he had the courage to face everything, and now, he is now filled with joy. I m glad he overcame it all. Although I have spent pretty much time, effort and money in helping him thru these 4 days. If he really learn from it. I say it is time and money well spent.



As for a friend I know. My good friend's sister. You have my empathy. And I must say that you are strong, and you will only get stronger. You just need to find your courage, and never let your mind make your decision. Because the truth lies in your heart, in knowing what is right and wrong. I remembered we chat about how emotional wounds take time to heal. So true as it is, never let your wounds be cut again because when you do, it will only get deeper and more painful. If someone loves you, he/she will never treat you as a side dish, or a punching bag. It's great to hear you saying today that you'll make good of your words, because it's the harder choice and you know it's the better choice. :) You are a very nice and patient girl, you did not scold him back when he hurled vulgarities at you. You have my respect.







~Know that anything that does not kill you, only trains you to grow stronger. Life's boat is never smooth sailing!

Signing off~

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Running Solo  

Dear Me,


Times do get rough, and all the more, DO NOT get defeated. Stand up, press on! Pick the pace and strive forward. One trouble, is a certain too many. When the storm rages, that's when true battle lies. It is easy to get going when you are in your happy times. But when you are down, will it stop you from moving forward? Pick your sword and know that God is there for you. He will fight side by side with you. 

Someone once said: "LOVE is never blind. But LUST is." So true as it is. Than why do we still indulge in lust? Only because the outer beaut blinds our perspective of love. What does it take for one to realize the word "L.O.V.E"? Simple. When love is patient. Still... the harder choice is always to wait. Isn't it?... - To my beloved bro and friends.

The question that we should really be asking ourselves is, what is more important in our lives? What are our priorities? And are they in their right places?

If a lie begets a lie, than I will say, a regret begets another, till the cycle breaks. So when will it be? As for me, I choose it now. Procrastination is like a spade. It digs a hole deeper, much deeper, and when you fall in, you will have to climb up with double the effort. My studies aren't so fantastic right now, I must say. But I will not be defeated. Swim towards the boat, or get drowned. No one ever said that the swim was easy. And everything will pay off, all in due time... In due time my friends. :)


God Bless!




Sincerely Yours

Lovell Tan
14th June 2010


 

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Help me by not helping. Thanks.  

I m caught in Neither-Land. I m neither here nor there. Having alot of mix feelings lately, and what supposedly was meant to help me, at times fail me. I hope there will not be anymore, anything or anyone who will add on to my misery, at least for the time being. Please? I m carrying shackles of burden in almost every area of my life right now. But I do not expect anyone's sympathy, I only request for one small favour.


That is your simple act of love of leaving me alone sometimes... It certainly would be most appreciated. I realize that giving in too much, to basically almost anyone, they would just squeeze every living crap and shit out of you. Taking you for granted. Leaving you dry and down to bones.


I hope there can be something, or someone that would make me feel a sense of joy I've not felt in a long time. Something that can make me smile and feel I m free from every worries. Even just for a minute, to feel that sense of relaxation. And thereafter, giving me the strength to carry on, fight on and press on. A motivation doctor would do me good. Should there be a miracle water for it, I will gladly pay.


Fantasies are not a solution. Simply because, that is what stimulates a person to procrastinate is the addiction of your wonder-imaginations, it binds you from moving on. So kill that thought. Shed some light into my reality. Will You?


If you need a hero, I need a break...

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When He Leads.  

A poem I would like to write before leaving for work...



When He Leads


What Leads me round,
Is like a rocking chair.
It keeps you busy,
But gets you no where.




Worries, troubles,
Drowns you in a daze.
Keeps your mind off focus.
Therefore, Time ablazed.




So stay worry-free, And trouble-less.
For time that flies, Will see no more.
Still long is the journey, Ahead it lies.
Yet worry mends no broken ties.




Keep on target, Reach the goal.
Every actions spells it all.
Where trouble lies, and God you seek,
Solutions a plenty, with Lord he leads.




Get up, Get over, and get it on.
Buckle up while God leads on.
For thru' the storms, you did not walk.
It is Him that carries you,
on and on.






know that He is always there,
Even when success seems so rare,
Still all He say's to comfort one:
"Just hang on tight! And Trust in ME!"






Leaving for work~
May the LOVE be with you! Haha!

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Irony of Unsatisfaction  

I wouldn't be writting much but let me share with you 2 stories/scenarios which I thought of... It pretty sums everything up, inferring to the title also.


The field ain't greener on my side.

There was a boy who wished that he could exchange his brother for a sister. And he had a friend who wished he could exchange his sister for a brother. After some time, they discussed about the idea of swapping their siblings, and so they did. A month later, as agreed, both of them gathered back together and made a wish. But this time, their wish was one. "I wish I was the only child". In saying so, a friend popped out from the back and said: "If it's okay with the 2 of you, could I borrow your sister and brother for a day? I'd love to have siblings, even if it's just one day."






Act of gratefulness

There was a rich girl, Jane, she had long awaited this day which was her birthday. Filled with brightness on her face, she rushed out of her bedroom. To the upper floors where her dad was sitting by the TV and watching a show, "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". She felt puzzled that her dad would be watching cartoon but was not bothered about it, so she asked: "Dad! Do you know what day it is today?" Her dad turned around and said: "Yes my dear, it is your birthday today. And here is your present." Seeing the small parcel in his hands, Jane's face turned black immediately, than sulkingly took it and open the wrapper. She had almost all kinds of apparels she asked for. In which none of it was cheap. But what she really wanted was a car from her dad. Not a bag. Now, her dad knowing the situation, also clearly aware of what Jane was thinking and feeling. He asked her: "Jane. Why are you having a sulky face? It is LV's limited edition." As expected, Jane burst out in anger saying: "Dad! You know very well I had always wanted a Mercedes. Ronnie had a BMW for his birthday! And all I m having is a bag." In hearing so, he pointed to the television and replied: "But Charlie only gets a chocolate bar on every of his birthday."




Treasure what we have and be grateful, to compare higher, we need to compare lower as well.

Neither side will be greener because each individual has their own problems to face. Some are just greater than the other.

So keep your heads up knowing that everything you have is a blessing. Because when it's gone, it'd be too late to realise how blessed you are.



 ** Nothing will satisfy you as long as you harbour greed. Once you sip a taste of greed, you'd be caught in it's circle.




Signing off~

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Unethical Believes and Contradictions  

Started off today with a "punch" on my face.

Had to wake up at 6am in the morning to get to school for a navy open house event. It was part of my IS module, that is the only reason being why I would agree to go to an island that provides bad services. As well as it is counted towards my attendance.


You would be able to tell my day isn't that good. Not being all slouchy again, but seriously I had only less than 3 hours of sleep.~ I was in a daze... That aside, something caught my interest today, amidst all my boring schedule. Probably it was the estacy of my day. Not to mention, it of course didn't last long.



I believe you all'd be curious to know what it is. So before I start blasting off, do brace yourselves because what I m about to mention may contradict some of your believes, and I will warn everyone before hand: MY TEXT MAY OFFEND ANYONE, AND/OR EVERYONE. Or maybe the only offender would be the fellow I m about to raise. He has always been a critic. Well, too bad for him, because he shall be my victim today. Not like I m the first to be making him one though~

His name is called "Pat Condell", some of you may have read about him, or even seen his multiple vids up on youtube. Someone who hungers for fame, or shall I say he's infamous. And for those that do not know the meaning, NO. Please do not make the same shot that everyone does. Infamous meaning is not "NOT famous". Just because "dependant" is the opposite meaning of "independant", it does not mean every other words in English works the same way, by adding an "IN" infront of an adjective implicates opposition.

I do not wish to lengthen my post too long, so in short, infamous means being famous in an indecent way. Or shorter, having a bad reputation. For those that do not trust me, or wish to look for more examples just look up the dictionary on line or on book, or perhaps google it. Coming back... Watch this video and hear what he has to say.


Click here:
Pat Condell's Immaturity Video


Okay, here it goes...

1) He states that he doesn't wish to hear anyone evangelizing to him. But he posted many videos of himself, proclaiming to the world and PREACHING how "bad" religions are. Especially aiming at christians and muslims. Particularly christians.


2) He admits that he is close-minded but fails to admit he is shallow-minded. How so? Simple, He lacks the knowledge of any religion he offends, by simply using vague contents of written words and/or story to tackle the religion. How stupid~.


3) He fails to prove the non-existance of God, but has the cheek to blabber away, and not being aware of how contradicting he is, by failing to meet his own requirement. He request for "SOLID, HARD, ROCK, COPPER BOTTOM, PROVE", but yet, fails to deliver them himself.


4) He raised a scenario about the sales of an "invisible" car. Trying to bring the message across to everyone that people who believes in the existance of God and preaches it, are people that is trying to sell you an invisible car. First off, Christianity is not a religion, it is about your relationship with God, but whatever. As it is viewed by the society as a religion. So be it, I will take that for now. But this only goes to show how shallow you are about Christianity. Second, it is not a "SALE" or a "For SALE" thing. It is "FREE". No one expects you to pay for your believes. It is just your assumption because you've seen people giving offering. Or maybe not, you didn't even see it, you've just heard about it. Third, what is invisible does not implicate its non-existance. Can gravity be even seen on a microscope? No. But it's all around us. It exist. Period.


5) He frames God as a God of violence, as you can see that he mainly attacks christians because of the bible. If God is a God of violence, than we'd be all in a blood bath now. If God is as small as you presume to be, than God is not God. If we create our own God, than we should be God. Not the other way round. Once more, another useless statement, but no surprise.


6) In his video he made mentioned once more, in a different scenario, saying: "Evangelizing to people who don't want to hear it, is such a tasteless thing to do. Is like exposing yourself in public. What ever happened to good manners? Is not as if we don't know the pitch, god knows we've heard it thousands and thousands of times. And it doesn't get anymore convincing into telling, but that doesn't seem to register with you isn't it?" Dude! You need to preach that to yourself! Don't "evangelize" your believes, in which NO you aren't evangelizing, you are criticizing. What ever happened to YOUR manners? Is like exposing youself in public Pat! It's not as if we don't know what you aethists believe in. So don't preach. Because what you all believe in, still remains as a pathetic, hypothetical, and theoretical believe after many years of experiments.


7) He slaps himself in the face by saying "Peace" at the end of the video, when his whole mission and hunger for youtube fame is to diminish the believes of many, and dare I say, diminishing also the truth, that God is in existance, and is REAL.






One of the most contradicting and immature person I've seen, he scorns and belittles people's believes, just to obtain fame. At such an old age, he'd be kissing his grave soon. So just to spare him, I wouldn't need to be lifting anymore of his vids. Neither is there a need for me to be picking on all his stupid assumptions and messages. Just to bring him down. Nope, there isn't a need, because he IS already there! At the rock bottom of the lowest pit! That's why he doesn't need a car! CHEERS~! Still, if you are interested to check it out, be my guess, there are many of his vids on youtube.


These Pictures are dedicated to: Pat Condell...

Have a Good laugh! LOL!



 

















Specially for you Pet... Opps~ Pat! (BEST LOL! PICTURE)








Good Night people~!

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Tides of Life (My Vision)  

Why "Against-TheTides"? And what is the meaning:

Someone asked me this question, and I thought it'd be good to answer. "Why?" With a purpose that follows...

Just Imagine a river flowing in a particular direction, a strong current that passes thru' rapids and rocks. Now... Lets take a step further, imagine you are IN that river, swimming. You have 2 choices, to swim against the tide, reach the bank on the other end where it's safe. Or choose to let the tide take you in its direction, where you are uncertain of the end.


I suppose most of you can visualize where I m heading to. But do allow me to ellaborate, the difference between these two choices are, firstly, choosing to swim against the tides lets you take control of your own decisions, deciding your own path, which means leading to safety grounds after fighting hard against the tides. While the other decision makes you a 100% dependant on the tide's flow, you just go with it and your path is uncertain. Will the current take you down a fall? Will it lead you plunging down to your death? Or will it take you for a spin in a whirlpool? Who knows...


It's always easier to follow the tide, and it makes it harder each time we let go and drift further away from shore. Giving up is easy, but striving on is hard. It is just like life situations in EVERY way. We are all swimming in this "River of Consciousness". For most of us, we know the outcome very well, we know that the tide would lead us down a fall, but we refuse to fight against it. I've seen many people, in particular my school friends, distraughted over school test, exams and results. Mainly because of a habit called "Procrastination". They have a longing and a wish to break the habit, but they just can't, only because the fight is hard. They would than let the tide take them down. You may have drift a long way from the shore. But always remember if you do not start now. You will never have an end to it. In fact, it will not be long before you plunge down.


"Against-TheTides" It will always encourage me to fight on for good. Decide my own outcome and be happy about it. I hope that whoever reads my blog will be encouraged to do so too. Endeavour and never let go, because the distance you strive towards the shore, it only takes seconds for the tide to bring you back where you started!




Paddle hard! Life is Short! There isn't a Motor to Success!

Uploaded on stand-alone page of "My Vision"

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Seriously... What did You just Say?  

I know some of you have read my facebook post. And fewer have even realised my underlying reference in it. I hardly use the shout box, but what the heck. Some times I just ask myself why submit to my rage? I do have a high level of tolerance, but when it crosses my limit I know VERY VERY well that I will flare up, and it will not be a small issue. At times I would overreact. But the bottom line is, why or what has made me turn to such extend?

I do not wish to raise about what happened regarding my youth team. I m leaving that aside now. But I will always strive on one thing, that is to cut the act of hypocricy as much as I can. And to a great extend I can say, I display my trueself when I m around ppl. We all do hide a little here and there. Yes! That's why no one is 100% perfect. But if you practice manipulation. No doubt hypocricy has become the oxygen of your character, and deceit, as your image.

Another thing I would like to raise. "Practice what you Preach." If you tell ppl not to back bite, spread rumours, sow discord amongst ppl. Please practice them. Be a keeper of your words. Otherwise feel free to use your back dagger, but for everyone's sake, don't preach those words. Don't do it for a show. Period.


Politics at home, accepted. Politics at school, tolerable. Politics at work, understandable. Politics in a place of gathering of as such?! Some self-reflection would be necessary, I do not wish to mention what type of gathering it is because I do not want ppl to perceive that we behave in such manner. I know this should not be the way. Still, don't enquire any further. Speaking of which, even If you do not wish to respect me, just respect the Person who owns the place. Or think about the purpose of the gathering. Was it meant to create more politics?

I m composed, no worries. And I would like to say, It was nice of Ling Seng, who approached me and queried about my problems, He was there to listen to me. A very nice person. And someone who knows the position I m in too. Same goes for the other friends who tried to cheer me up. It was really sweet of you all. Thanks! I m composed guys. And I choose not to dwell on it any further.

It's 4 am in the morning and I have to get up at 8+am to get ready for work.

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Perceptions can kill.  

Had an early run in school today, wasn't wide awake but had to make do with whatever I've got. 1st Lesson - WISP. In case those who do not know what it stands for, it reads: "World Issues: Singapore Perspective". A pretty relevant subject, with alot to question, and think about. A current topic we are working on is "Stereotyping".





And it had me questioning, "Why are there stereotyping, prejudice and discrimination?" Answer: That's because we choose to see the way we think, or No. A better word... "presume". That's when prejudice comes in. Many times in relationships, it is the same. I always realize there are weaknesses between a couple dispute, that only a 3rd party would have a clear overview on the problem. Most of which is trust concerned. A friend shares, I give my listening ear, comfort him/her, but will that solve any "trust" problems? Not at all. The "I suspect he/she is..." still remains, while the "Your lack of trust in me..." still rebuts.

I mentioned previously that humans are naturally too stubborn. We refuse change even when we know we have to. This particularly forms our stereotype view of a certain person, who commits the same misdeeds over and over again. Trust? How does it even exist if one is not a keeper of it. It takes two hands to clap, just like it takes two sides to make a coin. Many times i hear this: "In a relationship there is never right or wrong, there is only give and take." I would say two words: "BS (Bull Shit)".


In every dispute, there is always a RIGHT and a WRONG. You can have BOTH WRONG, or RIGHT but you can NEVER have NEITHER. Facts check. Pulling a right action to blend with the wrong, only encourages misdeeds to be done, by than, a wrong is seen as acceptable. Being an arbiter calls for fairness on all grounds. And NOT passing an arbitrary decision. Means, putting friendship/relationship, and any other form of kinship aside, is only necessary. Would you choose to give a bad advice over kinship? Or to divert the ball away by making it seemingly "fair", because both parties are close to you, when you know in your heart one is right while the other is wrong? That isn't true friendship or love. Therefore giving a just and fair judgement is only right. Even when the truth hurts. It's always better to know the truth than to be deceived by lies. As humans we practice biasness, just something way too common. We choose to hear one-sided stories, that's because we do not know, or are not in good terms with the other party. Naturally giving a one-sided judgement. This breeds discrimination.


To wrap things up, having the rights to do something does NOT make that action right. Once more, it all boils down to one word: "Choice". Neither end can be giving too much, while the other end keeps receiving. Knowing the truth behind this, you would realise there is absolutely zero love in all occasions and matters. Because Love means sacrifice. And Love IS sacrifice. You CAN give without Loving, but you CANNOT love without giving. Needless to say, love begets trust. And they work hand in hand.

Good Night~!

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Some Sunshine. Please?  

As you can see, I have not been having a good day. Tired? Yes. Feeling down? Yes. Disappointed? Yes. Stressed? YES. Like how I have foresaw, and anticipated on many occasions, about the on-coming predicaments. And YES once more, it came true. Just on the surface, I shall sum it up, a good buddy and a bro to me made me truely disappointed. I felt everything was a waste. Stop making guesses out there cos I will not reveal the name. Whoever knows, so be it. Otherwise just listen, don't ask. It makes me wonder, how stubborn ppl can be, even coming to myself. I remember there's a famous quote saying, "A Leopard will NEVER change its spots". As true as it is. Humans are inevitably stubborn natured. But I always say, WE have a freedom of choice. Final decision? Still lies with you. I'm washing my hands off.

A distress season for many I believe, seeing many relationships bite the dust. While some are hanging on the cliff. But as for me, I m stuck on school assignments, whilst juggling with my job. Can I handle? Yes I can, but my sleep is deprived. Still a time-out would be great. Speaking of which, I could really use some right now. I will need the energy to face tml's battle. Things to do, work to complete, finding candidates for the 3 - days employment... etc. Nope, I m determined not to run from it, I will and I can brave it out.




Good Night~!

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My Head Start.  

Introduction:

What to say? Where to start? Well.. I guess some of you realised I took it over or rather back from the site supposedly opened by me n my buddy. Numerous things cropped up, isn't it how it's always been? Just as you have it all planned out, there would be a stumbling block in your way. Although I have not changed much of the lay-outs of this blog, which was our former "Joint" work publishing site. Still... I've made it personalized fully under me. And it is officially my own blog. Account was all under me. So whatever that is posted here, of cos the author would be me.

My purpose:

Like I have wrote up at my profile, my sole purpose is to pen my thoughts, feelings and reflections. All our inspirational works, my buddy and I used to do, I may help post them here too, but at a minority scale. Or consider it as seldom.

Fore Note:

I hope you guys, you readers out there will find my post interesting to some extend. And a question to be answered, No. I m not going to blog about my day's event. I may or would as part of reflection but that would be the minor part of any post. I would omit all redundant informations in my posts. So I hope nothing bores you out by reading. In saying so, It is still my "web journal", so no matter what I post, I hope that you guys would as well give me the due respect. Check out the T&Cs at the bottom right hand of this page. It's Simple, have fun reading if you'd like. :)

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